20-somethings are always in a hurry, even to fall in love but what ever happen to the number one rule: love yourself first?
And not forgetting to mention the never-ending shrills of:
“Oh my gosh, you’re so lucky to have him.”
“You guys are perfect together..” or my favorite,
“I wish I had somebody.”
Now before I continue, lets get a few things straight:
Yes, I am incredibly fortunate to be in love with my best friend.
Yes, in some aspects we’re perfect together. Because no way in hell are we perfect 24/7.
And yes, having someone is nice.
But none of that would be remotely feasible if I didn’t love myself first.
And that’s as real as love can get because a healthy, solid relationship begins with two individuals who know what the fuck they want and who they are as separate entities.
Before Parris and I met, I was on a journey to achieve all my dreams, learn more about the crazy woman that I am and plan my next step. All of this, led me to appreciate my own self worth, hard work and drive. Something a lot of people don’t get to do when they are in relationships because when involved with someone else, their days are spent comprising, weeding out the bad and planting the good.
Many times I have witnessed people dive head first into relationships becoming codependent and refusing to admit that by doing so, they lost their own identity. I fear that has a lot to do with people mistaking the will of being alone with loneliness, being alone before you commit to being a part of some else is sort of crucial.
All of this will happen and it’s paid as a lesson learned but instead of rushing to find the one, maybe you’re the one for now and you need to start there.
Love yourself first, honey. Get to the know all your craziness and humility, learn about what makes you tick and what would it take to complete you. No half stepping here.