Redesigning Yourself

To be frank, I never knew exactly what or who I wanted to be growing up. There has always been this mentality of I’ll try anything once and see if it fits and while that has worked to my advantage in some instances, it doesn’t mean that you won’t catch me roaming from topic to topic in hopes that one will fancy me enough for me to actually grow with it versus to just belonging to it for a certain amount of time.

Our 20’s can be better defined as this warp of emotions and never-ending moments of self doubt and hardship. I am both a victim and successor of my 20’s; even though I still have a few more years to go.

Redesigning yourself always seems more daunting than it does inspirational. I am the queen of redesigning myself over and over again. I was once a: teacher assistant, hip-hop dancer, fashion show coordinator assistant, fashion blogger, social media specialist then a content manager.

We draw up this blueprint of who we think we should be and then immediately discard it when it doesn’t fit the bill. Why is that? Why does this time period of being naive and wondrous causes so much consequence in the department of identity? Why do we struggle with who we are more than those we don’t know?

On the surface, we are pressed for time to succeed; given all the success stories of those who are younger than you with have a house, a solid social following, cars they can’t drive yet while living the vida loca. Although underneath the surface, it’s something that takes time and life to unravel itself for us to know what the hell to do next.

This has led me to categorize these people and their journeys into three instances:

A.) People whom are given the opportunity; with no remorse to take it to the next level. B.) People who have to go seeking after it, sometimes hopelessly other times blind.

Then, there’s us, me and you:

C.) We don’t equate to anything nor are we the right or wrong answer; we’re just placed here with the world hoping that with everything we see and consume; we will eventually become something worth being.

So in the midst of finding that “something,” lets retract back to January; where I became so curious about graphic design and illustration after swarming the thought of creatively directing my own projects. Seamlessly enough, I was given my first Wacom tablet and it’s safe to say, that the rest is history.

Months later, I have crossed the line of ambitious and dived head first into my first digital art exhibit that would be coined as a milestone that I will never forget.

And while I’m still unsure if graphic design is my career soulmate, I can’t deny the immense and unbiased love that I have for it. Graphic design has become a solid outlet for me to express myself without the judgement clouding my thoughts or a label hanging over my head.

Undergoing a new wave of experiences; uncovering a new found love eases all the perpetuating pressure of being a 20-something in a sea of hashtags and mentions; the need to leverage presence with relevance.

That even so; I’ve capped myself as an option that consist of pure hope and consumption of anything. I am a kid of the internet: everything dreamt of is accessible by a press of button, that we as the kids of “Option C” have something to our advantage.

That all in all, I am, you are, we are just a bunch of creatives who just want to create dope shit.