The art of making it work, has led to a handful of times that Parris and I were given titles by both friends and online sites such as: Power Couple, Ultimate creative Couple or our favorite Batman and Robin. Yes, someone called us that once.
Yet we’re always so shocked that people think so highly of us. We’ve spent moments at home recalling how someone said this or that, not being able to register what makes us so “cool” and while all that is humbling and appreciated, I’m constantly wondering why.
Finally it hit me, that in a sea of people who are actively seeking for the one; from the outside looking in, Parris and I are seen as a duo who make it work seamlessly or tightly held in the arms of fate, lowkey what every creative couple should be.
But exactly HOW do we make it work? How are we able to differentiate work, home and creativity into different compartments? How do we refrain from muddling the waters and how are we still together in a generation where true, unconditional love is so scarce?
Well for starters, it begins with:
Like seriously, find yourself.
Before Parris and I met, we were on separate paths of happiness and self-discovery all the while experiencing major trial and error. We must have crossed each others path a thousands times but never paid mind because we both were on separate tracks, steadily marking our way towards a better self and hoping to make it out alive.
By the time Parris and I met, we immediately knew that this game of love was something to be won. As individuals, we knew what we wanted and what we disliked. From talking to sharing stories, it was inevitable that we would either be the best of friends or someone to call our own.
And I feel by knowing ourselves before knowing others is a major factor in becoming one.
Especially because people have this wild idea that their dream man or woman will come in the midst of chaos, or the internet building a dream of shiny objects that allows battered hearts to pick apart the flaws of strangers.
Sorry but love doesn’t live there nor does the willingness to know yourself first.
If you don’t know yourself, if you’ve never experienced what it is to be alone (not lonely) but alone then most likely appreciating someone else to their core is almost as tangible as starting your diet tomorrow.
YOU’RE NEVER TOO BUSY
When I was Assistant Coordinator for a production company, I dated this guy who made himself available to me despite my endless work days and non-stop travel. Sweet, right? Well long story short, it didn’t last. Not because I was too busy but because the effort was only one-sided.
The con of dating a busy person is that they put themselves on a pedestal that makes them seen unreachable, that their “too busy” to be loved or they’re married to their careers and while that’s the case nowadays and almost excusable; please see this as the laziest excuse ever to exist to mankind.
Busy people know that if they want it, they’ll make it happen. I say this because Parris and I might as well live in two different timezones. He travels a lot, I work a lot and when we’re seen together in public that’s most likely one of our first days back together in one place.
DON’T MUDDLE THE WATERS
By abiding to the unwritten laws of society to reading numerous of stories of women who seemingly can’t have it all without catching losses here and there. I became so frightened at the thought of sinking.
Yet despite the murky waters that often muddle the fine line of business and love, Parris and I continue to work together, live together and create together. This has been two years in the making, we still find ourselves in typical arguments, cold-shoulders and door-slamming but we overcame the fright and the odds of sinking alone.
How did we get better at compartmentalizing every space of our lives without ultimately calling it quits? We are brutally honest and selfless when it comes to foreseeing the success of the other. By deviating our spaces to giving ourselves time apart has been a remedy for some success.
This generation seems far too jaded to hope for unconditional love. But with everything else, it starts with an open mind, a closed mouth and no cutting corners. Meaning that you will allow to take in what’s happening, not be so quick to judge the person who’s making an effort and make it work despite the odds. Find the worth in your relationship and by any means necessary allow it to excel.
These days, putting yourself out there is just as terrifying and heartbreaking as to not. But coming from someone who took over a year off in order to know herself to then putting myself out there was one of the best things I could have done.